Jack & Jill🍃 (Twisted)

Jack and Jill went up a hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.

It started out on a normal day
They met outside the fence
They knew not that fate would bring
A tragedy at their expense.

By the time they made it to the well
The skies turned gray
The two looked worriedly at the sky
They must hurry down the hill today.

Bushes and trees surrounded the well
And as the lightning did strike
A man in black jumped out at them
Holding a sharp, pointed knife.

He swiftly stabbed Jack in the heart
And as Jill cried her last goodbye
She looked into the eyes of the man
And knew she was going to die.

The man took Jack by his arms
And thrust him down the hill
And with her last ragged breath
Quickly followed Jill.

Jack and Jill went up a hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after…

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63 Comments

  1. From now on, I’ll read your poems upside down, for if they have sad end I will not bother reading from the beginning lol Just kidding 😀 reading this poem, made me hear the rythm of the black piano notes 😀 well done

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha😂 I’m so happy that I’ve been able to make you travel on that rollercoaster of emotions. Your comments are always truly heartwarming and wonderful to read❤
      Thank you very very much for this sincere appreciation Nassima😊

      Like

  2. This is so well written, Ashwini! I agree that this piece bears the elements of a dark nursery rhyme as someone has previously pointed out. This is the story of some characters suffering and even dying. The horror element is present all the time. The repetition of the first stanza provides the typical and perfect structure and closure of your piece. It is amazing how such kind of storiesalways fascinate children at an early age. Your poem could well be turned into a song. Ever thought about this?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my God, Marta! You so minutely highlighted all the wonderful aspects of this piece of work of mine and I can’t thank you enough for that❤ I sincerely appreciate these comments of great calibre of yours which ideally reflect the great work on your blog.
      Yes! At least, they still fascinate me at 17😅
      No😂 I never thought I could pen down song lyrics but your comments always inspire me to pursue more😊

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Nassima😊😊!
      Yes. It’s been a long time and neither will I be very regular on my posts now due to academic commitments😔
      I’m honestly very touched to know that you cared to ask about me😊 and kindly excuse my late reply. We can always keep in touch on Instagram and so on. Thank you very much Nassima❤

      Liked by 1 person

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